The Space Between Us
May 1, 2022
Written By Cynthia Vermillion-Foster
As a child, I remember asking myself: “Why can’t we get along better?” This question has continued to reverberate in my consciousness throughout my life and is more prominent today than ever before. In looking at our world, it is clear the human species has difficulty getting along with one another. And it is increasingly imperative that we find better ways of sharing this planet with each other.
In The Book of Forgiving, Desmond Tutu says: “The quality of life on our planet is nothing more than the sum total of our interactions with one another. Each time we help, and each time we harm, we have a dramatic impact on our world.”
We are interconnected, woven together, part of one sacred whole. This is a concept that has been recognized and taught by all spiritual traditions. It is also a truth found in science. It is said that the movement of a butterfly’s wings can have impact on the other side of the world. Our actions and behaviors are much more impactful to the world than butterfly wings. The quality of our interactions collectively creates our experience on the planet.
In pondering this, I am aware of how little mindfulness goes into so many of my interactions – and how often my interactions are reactive. When I look out at our world and feel the suffering that we are creating together, I am inspired to pay better attention – to be more intentional in how I interact – to touch others with gentleness, kindness, love – most especially those who challenge me.
In the past few years, I have been blessed by the experience of studying mediation with Betty Pries. Betty has over 28 years of experience as a Conflict, Change and Leadership Specialist. (See bettypries.ca) I have learned a great deal from Betty about listening deeply, seeing the best in people, and having difficult conversations that are infused with compassion and respect.
My work with Betty has also taught me a great deal about myself and how I can navigate the dance of relationship with greater grace and awareness. In her book, The Space Between Us: Conversations about Transforming Conflict, Betty combines conflict transformation and spiritual practices. In the introduction to this book, she says: “Over the yeas of my work, I have come to the conclusion that if a transformation of one’s interior condition can transform an interpersonal relationship, by extension, this transformation can also transform organizations, perhaps even nations.”
As I dive deeper into looking at how I can be present and helpful to others in conflict, I become increasingly aware of what I bring to the table and increasingly dedicated to my ongoing evolution. Betty’s book is a valuable resource in this process.
Are you interested in evolving your interpersonal skills and navigating the space between you and others with greater skill, grace and compassion? Are you dedicated to touching the world in positive ways? If so, please join me in a book study of The Space Between Us: Conversations about Transforming Conflict. Tuesdays, 6:00 – 8:00 CT, May 31 – June 28. Sign up on my class page: https://www.openheartconsulting.net/classes/p/the-space-between-us