The Journey of Inclusion
All life exists inside a web of relationship and interconnection. Human beings do not exist outside of relationship. A sense of belonging is essential to our well-being, and to the quality of our lives. And we live in a rapidly changing world in which many people feel isolated and lonely. Many are longing for belonging and struggling to find it.
This longing is especially evident in conversations about inclusivity. Over the past several weeks, I have been blessed to be part of several conversations on this topic. They have been rich, deep, and unsettling. Each one has expanded my thinking and helped me consider more fully what it means to be inclusive and how I can live into this value.
Human history is replete with ways in which we have identified people as “other,” marginalizing and dehumanizing them. It is a painful history, and there are numerous calls to right that history in today’s culture. There is a felt desire to bring healing to this painful past and to find more life-affirming ways of being with one another. Achieving this is complex, messy and uncomfortable.
Many conversations about inclusivity – or more accurately, the lack of inclusivity – are problem oriented and theoretical. They identify what is missing and how systems of injustice and oppression have become embedded in our culture and intertwined in our way of being with each other.
This is important work, and it tends to externalize the situation. In this reflection, I would take a more inner focused perspective; for I believe that that through an inner focus is critical to becoming more inclusive and nurturing belonging for all.
The inner focus is not easy or comfortable. It demands courage, vulnerability, and humility. It calls us to consider the ways in which these systems impact us and those with whom we share this planet. It invites us to:
· Become aware of how we are triggered, and the emotions generated by an experience.
· Consider how we have been harmed and how we have caused harm.
· Heal and transform the pain that lives within.
· Take action to address the harm we have caused.
· Explore how we are complicit in systems of injustice and oppression.
This reflection will look different for each of us and will be deeply influenced by our experiences and the messages we have received from our culture.
People of color, members of the LBGTQ+ community, immigrants, those who are neurodiverse… have experienced the trauma and dehumanization of being othered. Acknowledging these stories and the accompanying pain can be challenging for those who come from more advantaged segments of society. It is difficult to be present to that pain – and to the reality that we have unconsciously been complicit in this pain. We want to believe that we are further along, that things are not as bad as they seem, that we are not prejudice, that we are inclusive…
Hearing stories of the pain of marginalization and calls for greater inclusion, can cause those of us with advantage to become defensive, or to feel that we are wrong or bad. This is natural reflexive response to protect ourselves, AND it diminishes the experiences of those who have already been harmed. It also keeps us from looking deeply at ourselves and embracing the opportunity to grow and evolve.
Martin Luther King said: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”
We are all part of one another. There is no “other.” The “other” is us. Marginalization of anyone harms all. Embracing inclusion means opening ourselves to the beauty of diversity in one another and finding ways to open our hearts to all. This is a journey that will continually call us further and higher. And it is a journey well worth the time an effort.