Conflict and Transformation

I recently completed my certification in Conflict Management and Congregational Leadership Program. This is something I have been working towards for about 3 years.  It is part of Conrad Grebel’s Peace Studies Program and a deep dive into conflict transformation, congregational dynamics, systems theory, and organizational development.  https://uwaterloo.ca/conflict-management/conflict-management-and-congregational-leadership

My interest in conflict arose a couple of decades mostly out of self-preservation.  In my work with spiritual communities, I often encountered conflict.  It was not a topic I felt comfortable with, and I started taking classes in conflict management and transformation in hopes of handling it more effectively.

Over the years, my skills in this area improved, but the program at Conrad Grebel took this learning to a new level.  Many of the classes in this program are taught by Betty Pries https://credenceandco.com/our-team/betty-pries/ and I have found her work the most transformative work I have ever encountered.  Yes, my ability or work with conflict increased.  Yes, I am more able to stay centered and show up as a non-anxious presence amid difficult situations.  Certainly, that has been rich and meaningful and important.  But when I talk about the transformation in this program, I am not speaking professionally, but personally.

More than anything else, Betty’s coaching has supported me in loving more fully, free from my ego-attachments.  This has occurred because I am more able to listen deeply, look at a situation from another person’s point of view, and to embrace them with compassion.  Through this work, conversation has become a way of touching the essence of another person. Rumi says it this way:

We listen to words

so we can silently

reach into the other.

Let the ear and mouth get quiet,

so this taste can come to the lip.

Ironically, careful, respectful dialogue in conflicted conversations can lead us to this place.  While conflict is messy and uncomfortable, it is also highly creative.  It invites us into a space where we can, if we are willing, reach into the other, recognize that we are one with one another, and collectively find pathways forward that support all. Engaged in this way, conflict becomes transformative.